Here and Now...There and Then Week 3

Revelation this week was Great! I loved this video. In Bible Study we are doing Here and Now, There and Then, by Beth Moore. In Session 3 we had an overview of Chapters 2 and 3, and reviewed Revelation 1:10. How encouraging that each letter includes a promise to those who overcome! It is the will of God to use the things we are going through in life to strengthen us. In whatever crisis we may be in or facing (health, job, finances, family, friends)...we are not under it...it is under you! We are overcomers, live on top of it, not underneath it. Say that to yourself every time you think of that particular situation!

These seven letters make two facts unmistakable: He is completely PRESENT and acutely AWARE! There is nothing that happens to us that surprises our Maker. He is completely PRESENT and acutely AWARE, all the time! We praise you Lord for that!

I enjoyed learning about the church in Ephesus. They hated what God hated, but did not love what He loved. Wow, something we should examine in our own lives! Our two major commands as believers are number one, to love the Lord God with all your heart, soul, and mind. The second is to love your neighbor as yourself. Love is our priority, we will never shine brighter than we love. The church at Ephesus had forsaken their first love. Jesus needs to be our first priority, when we fill ourselves up with Him, He is the one that will help us to love others. I often let the busyness of life sweep me away from my first love. What a good reminder to put God first, do not forsake your first love! Week three was great. I am excited to see what next week bring. I am praying for a fresh revelation from Jesus!

Do You Love God More Than You Love Yourself?

The quest to live a holy life does not seem difficult to understand. We are to love God, follow his commands, and love others. So, why is it so difficult? Well, it is so hard because we must die to self. We must put ourselves last and take all focus off what we want.

So hard to do, my friends. As we wrapped up our studying on, "Living Like You Belong To God," the thing that struck me the most last night was the phrase, "Do you love God more than you love yourself." Just take a minute and really think about that statement. Sure, if we were to answer that right now we would say, "Of course." Examine your actions, do they match up...are you spending more time focused on God than yourself. I would have to say I fail in this area. Maybe you do too. Never fear, let's get up, dust ourselves off and jump out from that mirror of looking at how everything affects me and what I want and desire and get moving in the opposite direction. The direction of loving God more.

Take some time this week to get with God, all by yourself, leave the distractions behind (no cell phone, email, etc). Lay out what a life that is completely focused on God would look like. What areas are you measuring up, what areas are you falling short? Take a good honest look, and don't get discouraged, you are taking a huge step in changing your mindset! Make a simple checklist for yourself of things you would like to do daily. Make it a realistic list (reading my Bible each morning for 15 minutes, praying for my day before I get out of bed, show love to a neighbor in need by the end of this week). You can add to this and increase your time spent with God as the days and weeks go by.

As you look at the check marks as the days and weeks go by, feel encouraged! You are well on your way to living a God centered life!

Girls Gone Wise Book Blog 18: Influence

1. Read the eighteenth point of contrast between a Wild and a Wise Thing (Pages 227-235)
2. Download and complete the Chapter Questions for Personal Reflection
3. Post your comments on the Blog

• How can you tell when someone is exerting a negative influence? What are some symptoms?
• What are some common rationalizations that women use to justify keeping the wrong company?
• Describe a time when someone had a positive influence on you. What was it about him/her that impacted you positively?
• What is the best way to exert a positive influence on others?
• What do you need to do to be more wise and less wild when it comes to the influence you accept and exert in your life?

Girls Gone Wise Book Blog 17: Speech

1. Read the seventeenth point of contrast between a Wild and a Wise Thing (Pages 217-225)
2. Download and complete the Chapter Questions for Personal Reflection
3. Download and complete the Conversation Peace Quiz
4. Post your comments on the Blog

• What’s the difference between a legitimate compliment and flattery?
• What’s the problem with talking excessively?
• How can using words to beguile, control and manipulate a man backfire on a woman?
• In which main area does your speech need improvement?

Girls Gone Wise Book Blog 16: Reliability

What happens if you cross your heart with your right hand, and cross your fingers with your left? Do you still have to keep your promise? What if you’re really mad at the person with whom you’ve made the agreement? Can you get out of it then? The Wild Thing of Proverbs 7 thought so. In this Girls Gone Wise video book blog, you’ll learn about covenants. You’ll discover that even if you don’t cross your heart or sign a piece of paper—even if you just shake your head and say “yes”—even if what you said you’d do is just a little thing, your word is your word. A promise is a promise.

1. Read the sixteenth point of contrast between a Wild and a Wise Thing (Pages 207-215)
2. Download and complete the Chapter Questions for Personal Reflection
3. Post your comments on the Blog

• Describe a time when someone close to you broke a promise they made. How did you feel? How did it affect your thoughts and feelings towards that person?
• Why is it important that we are faithful in little things?
• Why is keeping our word particularly important in marriage?
• How can you be more faithful in the little things?

© Mary A. Kassian

Girls Gone Wise Book Blog 15: You Deserve a Break Today

The underlying message of most ad campaigns is, “Indulge. You deserve it!” The Wild Thing would agree. She feels entitled to indulge in all sorts of pleasures… visits to the spa, beauty treatments, splurging on the sexy red dress and that pricey, exotic fragrance. And if she decides to indulge in a night of forbidden romance and pleasure, who’s to say she’s shouldn’t? It’s not anybody’s business but her own! In this Girls Gone Wise video book blog, you’ll learn that a woman who willingly forfeits gratification can be infinitely happier than the one who insists on
her right to indulge.

1. Read the fifteenth point of contrast between a Wild and a Wise Thing (Pages 199-206)
2. Download and complete the Chapter Questions for Personal Reflection
3. Post your comments on the Blog

• What are some things our culture tells us we deserve?
• How does keeping our eyes on a positive future reward help us forfeit immediate gratification?
• Explain what you think Paul meant when He said, “She who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives.” ( 1 Timothy 5:6)
• Is there anything that the Lord is asking you to forfeit for the sake of the greater reward?

© Mary A. Kassian

Girls Gone Wise Book Blog 14: Shop Till You Drop

Calling all shopaholics… Is the pride-and-joy item in your closet a pair of Manolo Blahniks? Do you like to have a look at the label and see designer names like Dolce & Gabbana, Valentino, Armani, or Versace? If so, you may have a lot in common with the woman of Proverbs 7. She had impeccable taste! This Girls Gone Wise video book blog points out that Wild Things are intent on filling their homes and closets with designer-label fashion and all sorts of beautiful things—but that if you’re smart, you’ll set your heart on getting so much more!

1. Read the fourteenth point of contrast between a Wild and a Wise Thing (Pages 191-198)
2. Download and complete the Chapter Questions for Personal Reflection
3. Post your comments on the Blog

• What kind of “power” does luxurious living offer? Do you feel the pull of this attraction?
• What type of behavior would you expect to see in someone who “treasures the riches of the Kingdom more than the riches of the world?
• Other than money, what are your most precious resources?
• What can you do to invest yourself and your resources for eternity?

© Mary A. Kassian

Girls Gone Wise Book Blog 13: Neediness

1. Read the thirteenth point of contrast between a Wild and a Wise Thing (Pages 181-189)
2. Download and complete the Chapter Questions for Personal Reflection
3. Post your comments on the Blog

• Describe some symptoms of CGS (clingy girlfriend syndrome) that you’ve observed in friends or family.
• What do you think a needy woman is looking to get from a man?
• Why do some women feel a sense of neediness more acutely than others?
• Why will no earthly relationship ever completely quench a woman’s thirst?
• What practical advice would you give to a woman to help her rely less on man and more on the Lord?

© Mary A. Kassian

Girls Gone Wise Book Blog 12: Authenticity

How do you spot a fake? Most of us wouldn’t dare deal in counterfeit cash. But yet we tolerate counterfeit spirituality. We are two-faced. Our public persona doesn’t match our private one. You can spot a counterfeit designer handbag by opening it up and examining the details. This Girls Gone Wise video book blog outlines seven signs of hypocrisy that you can spot in the life of a Wild Thing. They’ll help you know what to look for so you can tell the difference between real and fake.Read the twelfth point of contrast between a Wild and a Wise Thing (Pages 171-179)

1. Download and complete the Chapter Questions for Personal Reflection
2. Post your comments on the Blog

• How does the image of a masked actor accurately reflect what a hypocrite is?
• Why do woman fear being “found out” for who they really are?
• Which one of the seven marks of hypocrisy do you battle with the most?
• Why do you think it’s so important to aim for true authenticity?

© Mary A. Kassian

Girls Gone Wise Book Blog 11: Boundaries

1. Read the eleventh point of contrast between a Wild and a Wise Thing (Pages 153-169)
2. Download and complete the Chapter Questions for Personal Reflection
3. Download and complete the Personal Hedges Worksheet
4. Post your comments on the Blog

• How does failing to heed boundaries expose a woman to potentially dangerous or compromising situations?
• Do you think we can come up with a hard and fast list of boundaries that are appropriate for all circumstances? Who or why not?
• Were there any hedges on the Personal Hedges Worksheet that you liked or thought were particularly important? Were there any you disliked or thought were overly restrictive?
• Has anyone ever pressured you to cross a boundary that you felt uncomfortable crossing? How did you respond?
• What are some challenges you face when it comes to maintaining personal hedges?

Girls Gone Wise Book Blog 10: Sexual Conduct

1. Read the tenth point of contrast between a Wild and a Wise Thing (Pages 135-151)
2. Download and complete the Chapter Questions for Personal Reflection
3. Post your comments on the Blog

• Which quote from the book do you think best explains why God created sex?
• Why do you think that wrongful sexual conduct is so offensive to the Lord?
• How does an unmarried woman tell the story? How does a married women tell it?
• Has this chapter caused you to think differently about sex? How do you think it will affect your sexual conduct?

© Mary A. Kassian

Summer Bible Study

It was so great to meet together Wednesday night, I'm excited that so many of you are taking this journey with me this summer! I hope you liked the first night of our study, "Living Like You Belong To God." I think it will be a great six weeks! True holiness is the key to true happiness, so I'm excited to dive in!

I have set up an email list for prayer requests and other messages that need to go out. If you have not received an email yet, and you are in our class and would like too, please email me at katew806@hotmail.com and I will get you on the list!

Here is a quick look at what we discussed in week one.

This first week of study we focused on "A God Who Separates Light from Darkness." We saw that God separated the light from the darkness in Genesis 1:4, and that spiritually speaking He has been doing that ever since. I challenged us to examine our lives this week and think about the areas that were most light and most dark in our lives.

We saw that what distinguished Israel from all the other nations was that God was going with them (Exodus 33:15-16). So what about you, what distinguishes you from the world around you?

We saw in Leviticus 10:1-5 that Nadab and Abihu, the sons of Aaron, offered up strange fire to the Lord. God was not pleased with their worship and they died. In this context holy means to be set apart from the common and to be treated with great respect. The priests treated God as common and with great disrespect. Do we at times treat our role as a holy person, bought with a price (the price of the blood of Jesus), as common and with disrespect on occasion?

We saw that in 1 Peter 1: 14-16 "As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance,

¹⁵but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior;

¹⁶because it is written, "YOU SHALL BE HOLY, FOR I AM HOLY."

The way we handle these truths affects our representation of Jesus in the world! Is your holiness clearly visible to a dark world? I made this cake on Tuesday. It was very pretty, but did not have much flavor (so I won't be recommending this recipe). However, when I made it, it made me think about our lives and holiness. You see before I cut into this cake, it looked like any other cake with buttercream icing. You couldn't tell what was special about this cake. From the outside, there was nothing that would distinguish this cake from any other cake. However, when you cut into it the beautiful colors were displayed for all to see. Are you like this cake? From the outside do you look like everyone else in the world, blending in so no one can tell there is anything different about you? Or are you displaying the beauty of Jesus in you for all the world to see?

Please feel free to continue the discussion we had the other night right here on the blog. Comment below if you have anything you would like to add or discuss!

I cant' wait to see you all back next week as we talk about belonging to a Holy God!

Girls Gone Wise 9: Who Wears the Pants?

Who wears the pants? And does it even matter? Because anything guys can do, girls can do better. Right? Well maybe-maybe not. But according to the Bible, roles aren’t based on who’s more capable or competent, or whose turn it is, or who wants to have a go at it. In this Girls Gone Wise Video book blog, you’ll find out that there’s a really important reason why roles matter, and why it should be the guy pursuing the girl… and not the other way around.Read the ninth point of contrast between a Wild and a Wise Thing (Pages 119-134)

1. Download and complete the Chapter Questions for Personal Reflection
2. Post your comments on the Blog

• How common is the Girls-Gone-Wild pattern of the girl “seizing” and the guy “following”?
• Why do you think our culture reacts negatively to the idea of differing roles and responsibilities for male and female?
• Why does it matter who “wears the pants?”
• Has your thinking on male/female roles changed over the years? In what way?
• How does sin make it difficult to delight in our created design?
• Which of the 12 gender markers do you struggle with the most?

© Mary A. Kassian

Girls Gone Wise Book Blog 8: Flirt to Convert

No one wants a reputation of being a BIG flirt—but what about just a bit of flirting? What if you just flirt for fun? Or flirt to convert? The ancient prophet Isaiah had something to say about women who’d perfected the art of “the walk” and “the look”—you know the look he’s talking about… that sultry, steamy, “come get me” one. In this Girls Gone Wise video book blog, you’ll find out when you should use body language to turn on the charm.

1. Read the eighth point of contrast between a Wild and a Wise Thing (Pages 93-108)
2. Download and complete the Chapter Questions for Personal Reflection
3. Post your comments on the Blog

© Mary A. Kassian, Girls Gone Wise. Visit Mary’s Website at: GirlsGoneWise.com

Girls Gone Wise Book Blog 7: Appearance

1. Read the seventh point of contrast between a Wild and a Wise Thing (Pages 93-108)
2. Download and complete the Chapter Questions for Personal Reflection
3. Post your comments on the Blog

• What does it mean to dress “as a prostitute?”
• How might the concept that clothing is meant to display deep and profound spiritual truths about the gospel change the way a woman dresses?
• Refer to the second paragraph on page 102. Which pitfalls about the practical question of what and what not to wear have tripped you up?
• In what way do the principles that a woman’s clothing ought to be “becoming, decent and moderate” challenge you?

© Mary A. Kassian, Girls Gone Wise. Visit Mary’s Website at: GirlsGoneWise.com

Girls Gone Wise Book Blog 6: Focus

1. Read the sixth point of contrast between a Wild and a Wise Thing (Pages 83-92)
2. Download and complete the Chapter Questions for Personal Reflection
3. Post your comments on the Blog

• Can you describe a time when you went “wild” lying in wait for something?
• At what point does the pursuit of a legitimate desire change from being wise to wild?
• Why is laying a trap so dangerous to the one who lays it?
• Who gets more: the woman who is focused on getting, or the woman who is focused on giving? Why?
• What can we do to maintain a Kingdom focus?

© Mary A. Kassian, Girls Gone Wise. Visit Mary’s Website at: GirlsGoneWise.com

Girls Gone Wise Book Blog 5: Habits

1. Read the fifth point of contrast between a Wild and a Wise Thing (Pages 71-82)
2. Download and complete the Chapter Questions for Personal Reflection
3. Post your comments on the Blog

• Why is it important to attend to your private world first?
• Do you agree that God created women with a unique bent for the home? Why or why not?
• Why do you think culture devalues the importance of a woman’s unique connection to the home?
• What important habits and disciplines does a wise woman incorporate into her life?
• What areas of your private life do you have a tendency to neglect? Can you share any ideas or suggestions for habits that have worked for you?

© Mary A. Kassian

Girls Gone Wise Book Blog 4: Attitude

This chapter was all about Attitude! Isn't it so true that in society today if you have a sassy and defiant attitude you are considered desirable. Culture says this kind of attitude is a virtue and calls it self confidence. I delight in the fact that the Lord created me to be soft. "According to Scripture, it's woman's softness, her ability to receive, respond, and relate, that is her greatest strength (pg 64)."

So today, take a few minutes and watch the video below by Mary Kassian and then turn in your book and ask yourself, "What kind of attitude am I going to cultivate in my life?" Enjoy!

1. Read the fourth point of contrast between a Wild and a Wise Thing (Pages 57-70)
2. Download and complete the Chapter Questions for Personal Reflection
3. Post your comments on the Blog

• What type of disposition does culture encourage women to cultivate?
• How do you feel about the fact that Adam associated manhood with “strength” and womanhood with “softness”? What do you think that means?
• Do you delight in the fact that the Lord created you to be “soft”? Why or why not.
• What factors might keep you from becoming increasingly gentle, calm, and amenable?

© Mary A. Kassian, Girls Gone Wise. Visit Mary’s Website at: GirlsGoneWise.com

Girls Gone Wise Book Blog 3: Approach

Here is the video blog to Chapter 3: Approach

1. Read the third point of contrast between a Wild and a Wise Thing (Pages 45-55)
2. Download and complete the Chapter Questions for Personal Reflection
3. Post your comments on the Blog

• What are some specific ways pop culture encourages women to manipulate men?
• Which type of manipulation have you used the most? The least?
• Can you describe an instance when being wily has blown up in your face?
• How can we become less wily and and more wise in our relationships?

© Mary A. Kassian Girls Gone Wise. Visit Mary’s Website at: GirlsGoneWise.com

Girls Gone Wise Book Blog 2: Counsel

Chapter 2
You can find the video book blog at www.girlsgonewise.com or you can watch it at the end of this post!

1. Read the second point of contrast between a Wild and a Wise Thing (Pages 35-44)
2. Download and complete the Chapter Questions for Personal Reflection
3. Take the Media Reduction Challenge
4. Post your comments on the Blog

• Do you agree or disagree that “you’ll become what you expose yourself to”?
• Do you think you’ve been influenced by things you’ve seen? How?
• What adjustments have you made (do you want to make) to your media intake?

My responses to the questions above. Comment if you have anything you would like to add!

1. I agree that you'll become what you expose yourself to. You might not think it could ever happen, but it is easy to become desensitized to what you put yourself around (see, hear, and think about). Just like Mary Kassian said, it is a slow, steady drip, drip, drip, and then by the time you have been exposed to something 30 times you have it imbedded in your mind and thoughts.

2. Yes, I think I have been influenced by the things I have seen. I will never forget watching a movie with a group of friends in high school one Friday night. It was a violent movie, one that I didn't want to watch. There was a very violent scene where someone was killed, and to this day it still send shivers up my spine when something makes me remember it. I hate that it is stuck in my head. I think things we watch influence us; our moods, what we want to buy, eat, etc.

3. I have already made some adjustments in the last week by limiting my "media" intake. I cut down the amount of time I spent watching television. I thought that this would be something that would be incredibly hard for me, but surprisingly it wasn't been hard at all. I have found other things to do and occupy my time. Now, when I have actually been sitting down to watch TV I haven't even been finding it as enjoyable. I keep thinking of all the other things I would like to be doing.
The next step for me is to cut back on my internet time. I spend too much time on the internet.